:DIE WITHOUT REGRET:

I don't remember exactly when it was, but I recall being very let down by those around me who would call themselves my "friends" back in highschool. Life has a way of showing you things in people at times when you least expect it, that or showing you a side of yourself you did not know existed. Either way, I grew tired of that word and the people who misunderstood the meaning behind it. In the recent years I've pretty much abandoned the word and replaced it with the words "Wolf" and / or "Wolves" to describe those closest to me, because it appears as though the word "friend" has been reduced to the equivalent of an "acquaintance". Which is a problem for me.

If I've ever called you a "friend", what that meant was that I'd be there for you regardless...regardless. It meant that if I was free to hang out and you wanted my company, that I would be there for you. Should you be going through some sort of pain and needed advice or words of comfort then I would be there regardless. If I ever made a mistake and ended up hurting you in some way, then I would do my best to make up for it. That's what you got if I called you a friend, because to me that's what a friend is.

Now, there are two major ways you can fuck up a friendship with me:

1. Lying to me / being dishonest and secretive will destroy any form of stability I may think I have with you. Open communication is huge with me and I've never taken that lightly.

2. Putting a new face before the concerns of those who've been there for you longer. What does that mean exactly? It means when a new person (male or female) enters your life and is instantly placed above the people who have been there to pick you up during your lowest moments "just because". Things like that take time, you don't just grant someone that privilege. I don't do well with that because it shouldn't be so easy for you to toss your friends under the bus like that for someone you don't even know, really.

Sad to say it happens all the time, which is why I'm removing the word "friend" from my vocabulary. From now on you're either a wolf or just someone I know, because I'm so tired of people taking advantage of my friendship. I would never let someone I barely know get in between me and a friend, regardless of how this other person may or may not feel. After some time then yea, but not right off the back. But what do I know, even after all this shit I'm still going to be there for those of you who I've given my word to because that's what I do. I give my word about something and I never break it. I've never broken it, my word is all I have. Being a good friend is all I know.

I just had to get that off my chest.
Life is so fucking short and it's sad that people chose opting out of great memories over a fear of losing a new face. Keep the ranks tight, and don't abuse the friendship.

Until next time...

There is something about space that has brought us closer together, and although the time is not yet right there isn't any love lost. Maybe the distance is helping us appreciate each other more, I know that's how I feel. Sometimes I catch myself thinking we've come to a better understanding of each others perspectives, that is to say that I see things the way she had and she speaks as if she were me. It's been awhile since I was able to embrace her, but there was so much love in those brief seconds tonight. Her touch has not changed, the subtle pinching of her fingers on my left shoulder blade. I'm grateful to see her wounds healing to say the least, I know it will be awhile before I am her's again. I'm okay with that...

The hardest part about this whole process is having to hold back, we are both very passionate people by nature and the "knowing" of having to hold back is quite uncomfortable at times lol. But I have no complaints. Not sure if it was the phone call, or the strawberry smile on her face when she showed up in a wetsuit that marked the beginning of a much desired situation (for me at least). Whatever is in the air tonight, I am happy for it. I will play my part until I'm allowed her company again. I've missed her, and yet after everything she shows her mercy. I will wait for her.

Until next time...

"If the love is real, let it out its cage. If it comes back to you, then you know it was meant to be. You can't put a time limit on it, it could be months or even years. But if it's meant to be, everything will come back in full circle. Nothing is ever definite, and love has no time frame." - Mom



There use to be a time where the idea of "Love" was viewed as a joke to me, I would mock the very thought of finding a "soul mate". However, as most of you have heard I've since changed my perspective on that issue. I don't want to make this post too long so I'll try my best to make my point and leave it at that.

Just about everything we do in life is a choice, the fact that we all choose to wake up everyday and not kill ourselves is a testament to that. I'd also like to think that every choice is based off a thought, and that ever thought is based off an emotion. We are good at this, placing images to the darker moments in our life. Some people find their way though the darkness to recreate new memories, some don't.

There is a woman in my life who I am very close to, and although she has rebuilt her walls around me even higher than when we first met I believe she still sees herself very close to me as well. There is something quite intriguing about finding yourself, you tend to do a lot of damage to those who are most close to you. Not intentionally, but because they too are finding themselves. At this point the question then becomes; Do you part ways until an understanding has been established, or do you give you up on the very idea in and of itself? For me, I look at this situation as a temporary one for one reason. No matter how many times we've parted ways, we always tend to find our way back to each other. It is true that the emotional bond has been severely damaged, but the memories are still very new and we are still very young.

There is one thing that can't be argued from either side, we care about each other. That is not to be taken as some romantic reference, but as a factual understanding. We care about each other, and no matter how ugly our situation has been in the past we are still standing here as friends because deep down there is desire. I do not look at this as a good or bad thing, at this stage I'm simply waiting for the smoke to clear and for us to lower these protective barriers that we've rebuilt around each other.

Too much of anything can be a bad thing, but there is something here.
We wouldn't be where we are if there wasn't something here. Maybe it's the result of being in the right place at the wrong time, or maybe it's the result of not understanding each other or ourselves entirely. I kind of laugh at the thought, I have a friend who's mom is a military wife. Her husband is gone for months at a time, and she spoke on how hectic things were for them when they first started off. She also stated that they were new to love, in the long run they ended up spending their entire lives together.

In an ironic kind of way, I see that happening here. I don't have the money to keep up with her lifestyle at the moment, one of the many reasons we parted ways. But I feel that once I'm in a position to do what I want to do as well (travel, live it up to a degree, help people change the world, ect.) our desires will come back to what they were. For the first time we'd be on the same page. Sometimes I think I may have found my wife, but that's probably just me haha. Only time will tell, at the end of the day I know that whatever happens I will always have some kind of role in her life and she as well in mine. We're close like that, we can really get under each others skin...but that just means we care.

Oh, and I guess this ended up being pretty long lol, sorry about that.
Until next time...

Because There Are More Important Things In This World That Need To Be Focused On. That's All I'll Say About That.

"I want you to look at your hand, honey. Now count how many friends you think you have, if it takes more than one hand to count them all then someone on that list isn't who they say they are." - My Mom

I Have Never Been The Type To Label Someone As a "Friend" Unless I've Known Them For a Certain Amount of Years, Oddly Enough There Are Those Who Will Think They Deserve That "Friend" Title Simply Because They Claim To Be Your Friend. Today Marks Another Moment In Time Where An Individual Accidentally Showed Their Real Colors and As a Result, Proved Not Only To Me But To Themselves That They Were Not Truly Friends.

My Hand Remains Occupied By Three...

This Past Weekend Was By Far The MOST enjoyable Weekend I've Had In a Long Long Time. The Combination of Family and Friends Has Never Ceased To Bring These "joys" Into My Life, and I Hope That I'm Allowed a Few More Re-encounters With Such People.

Driving Into My Hometown From Los Angeles Was More Enjoyable Than Usual. It Had Been So Long, I'd Almost Forgotten How Far I'd Moved Away. Not Sure If It Was The Fact That My Brother Was In Town and It Being The First Time I'd Seen Him In Almost a Year, or The Fact That My Brother and Mother Would Be In The Same Space With Me Again That Made Me So Excited About Going "Home". Whichever It Was, I Enjoyed Their Company Very Much.

In Addition To Those Memories, I Was Able To Re-stalk On Even Newer Memories With The Countess Red Rose. Something I'd Been Longing For Since Our Last Separation Back In 2010. I Find Myself at Peace When In Her Presence, Still Can't Quite Find The Words For It. I Was and Am Still Very Happy That We've Been Able To Be Apart For Such Long Times and Pick Back Up On The Same Foot We Left Off On Whenever We Meet Back Up Again. I Haven't Had Another Friend Like Her Since Her Pages Began Taking Form In My History Book. I Will Build of Those Memories Another Time...Maybe.

Lastly, I Got a Chance To Spend Some Much Needed Time With a Fellow "Organized Threat" Member and Meet His Family, and Was Given a Chance To Rock a Hip Hop Show With Him. I See So Much Growth In That Friendship In The Near Future. Oh and On Top of That, A Buddy of Mine Came To The Show With Her Boyfriend, I'm Happy To See Her Happy and I Wish Them The Best. No Babies Though.

Overall, It Was An Awesome Four Days and Those Who Mean The Most To Me Were a Part of It. Nothing More You Can Ask For When Granted Moments Like These.

For The Longest Time I've Been Dwelling On The Purpose of Labeling People "Homosexual" or "Heterosexual", and To No Surprise I Haven't Really Found a Logical Purpose of Either Label. I've Had The Privilege of Encountering Various Types of People With Various Types of Ideals In My Lifetime Thus Far, and As a Result I'm Not So Quick To Place Simplistic Labels On Any Person.

But Back To The Point...

I Suppose The Best Way To Go About This Would Be To Start Off With Each Definition and Then Try Our Best To Display The Flaws In Each Definition.

Homosexual:

1. pertaining to, or exhibiting homosexuality.
2. pertaining to, or noting the same sex.

By Default, The First Definition Is Nothing Less Then Bullshit. In a Nutshell Being Homosexual Means Acting Homosexual. But That Doesn't Answer Anything. The Second Definition Gives Us a More Definitive Answer But Does It Really Answer The Question?

Heterosexual:

1. relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward the opposite sex or involving sexual intercourse between individuals of opposite sex.
2. relating to different sexes.

Both Definition of Heterosexuality Are Interesting Because It Would Appear That All You'd Have To Do Is Want To Have Sex With The Opposite Sex. Or Simply Be a Male or Female.

But Is It Really That Simple?
Is Sex Based Off a Penis and Vagina (or *masculine vs feminine rolls*)
What Do You Say To People Who Don't Have a Preference and Just Like Having Sex With Whoever or Whatever? Or Don't Even Like Sex at All For That Matter?
What About Those Who Enjoy Having Sex With Fur Animals of The Opposite or Same Sex?

Let's Take Porn For Example.
Is One "Heterosexual" or "Homosexual" For Watching Two "Heterosexual" People Having Sex, Being That One of The Two Are The Same Sex As The Viewer?
Would a Female Be "Hetero" or "Homo" For Watching Two Men?
Would a Male Be "Hetero" or "Homo" For Watching Two Women?
Lastly, Where Would You Place Masturbation?
Where Would You Place Beastiality?

All These Questions and That's Just When It Comes To Sex.
Some Classify One's Sexuality Based Off The Clothes They Wear and The Music They Listen Too. Which I Find EXTREMELY Retarded.

The Last Point I Want To Make About This Topic Is In Regards To Those Who Claim To Be One Gender Mentally, But Are Trapped In The Physical Shell of Another Gender.

Is Sexuality Psychological or Based Off Physical Attributes and Parts?
At The End of The Day Does It Really Matter?

I Personally Think It's a Waste of Thought To Even Dwell Upon.
The Human Being Is Complex, and There Are Those Who Find Attractions and Sexual Stimulation Through The Most Abstract of Things.

So What Do I Think?

I Think The Idea of Labeling Yourself "Hetero" or "Homo" Is Dumb, There Are Too Many Factors That Go Into Both Stereotypes. I Believe We Should Live Life, and Enjoy Whatever It Is That We Are Into. To Label Yourself Anything Other Than an "Intelligent Human Being Existing In a Reality You Were Not Around To Witness In Its Beginning" Would Be Belittling To Your Complexities As an Existing Life-Form.

Just Live...

...and I've Been Stuck On Stupid Ever Since. This Game Is One of Those Relationship Breakers. I'm Serious. I Have Locked Myself In My Room, Dusted Off The Ol' 360, and Have Been Playing Non Stop. This Game Is Epic. They Did Such a Great Job This Time For The Console Version of This Game. It's Almost As Flawless As The PC Output. Ahhhhhhhh.

Anyways, Had To That Get Out.
Until Next Time.

Today Marks The Tenth Day of Me Not Eating Meat and / or Meat Related Products, and To My Surprise The Transition Wasn't That Hard To Make. I Pretty Much Quit Cold-Turkey. There Was a Day or Two Where My Body Was Like "what the fuck are you doing sir ‎(ಠ_ಠ)" But After It Caught On To The Game Plan We Were Smooth Sailing. I Still Plan On Eating Sushi Though, I Couldn't Shake That If I Wanted Too. Anyway, To All of You Who Read My Post Feel Free To Shoot Me Some Ideas On The Types of Food Out There For Vegetarians and What Not. I Mean, Up Until This Point My Diet Was Cereal and Hebrew National Hot Dogs. Every Now and Then I'd Eat a Full Rack of Ribs, I'm Going To Miss Those Days. Welp, That's It For Now. Short Post I Know, Just Wanted To Knock It Out While I Was Still Up. Until Next Time...

www.PoeticDeath.com

Over The Past Few Weeks I've Been Traveling Around a Bit, Networking and What Not For My Videography Work and Musical Endeavors. Upon My Latest Trip To Connecticut and Most Recently San Jose, California, I've Come To The Realization That I Love To Travel. Until Now, I Only Had Plans To Make It Into Europe and The "Asia" Continent (Africa). Turns Out I Actually Like To Travel.

I've Been Thinking About The Benefits of Being a "Traveler" In The Modern World:

- No Mortgage
- No Utility Bills
- No Urge To "Buy" Things Simply To Fill The Space of My House
- No Need To Over Pack a Refrigerator
- No Need For Unnecessary Space.

For Those of You That Know Me Know That I Don't Plan On Having Any Kids Anyways.
I Don't Know, Just Some Things That Have Been On My Mind Lately. I Would Love To Get a Sponsor or Something Along Those Lines and Have Them Buy Me a Mobile Home or "Pimped Out" Tour Van (something I could drive). I Honestly Just Want a Little Corner To Record My Music In and a Mini Refrigerator, Oh and Futon. Thoughts...

A Lot of My Friends Have Been Having Kids Lately, That or Are Expecting Kids Within The Next Six To Seven Months. Some Looking For Congratulations From My End, While Others Hide The News From Me In Irritation of How I May or May Not React. The Human Being Is Interesting To Say The Least, and Those Expecting Change In My Perspective Simply Because We Have Similar History Is Quite Amusing.

Whatever I Say...

"Dogs are put into a cage where they get electric shocks to their feet. The shocks are unavoidable and, though unpleasant, eventually the dog learns to endure them. The dog is now put in a cage with a second, stress-free compartment accessible simply by jumping a barrier. When given electric shocks, it makes no attempt to escape even though it could easily avoid pain. It has learned to be helpless and to do nothing but endure its torture. It has learned to behave apathetically. Dogs given shocks in the double cage from the beginning quickly learn to escape over the barrier, yet many of the apathetic dogs will not learn how to escape even if the experimenter attempts to show them by physically lifting them into the other compartment." - Dinosaur Heritage Syndrome

I Find This Study To Be Quite Metaphorical To The Lifestyles of a Lot of People Living Below The Poverty Line. I Find That When Confronted With Obstacles or Discomfort, a Majority of People Will Simply Endure and Continue Down a Lifeless Path. Although Their Situation May Be Discomforting a Lot of People Deal With It Because Those They Care About and Love Are In The Same Situation As They Are In. So It's An Even Trade.

So What Is The Pain of Progression?

The Pain Is Not So Much In The Lifestyle Under The Poverty Line, It's Not a Physical Pain. This Pain I'm Referring To Is Emotional, and Is Often Obtain By Those Trying To Excel Beyond The Norm. While The Dog Would Rather Sit Still and Endure The Shocks In Hopes of The Shocks Ending While Feeling a Sense of "Destitute", The Spectator (one trying to excel) Would Prefer To Remain Persistent and Resistant To The Ideas of Failure.

It's Funny How Old Memories Will Try To Bring You Down. But Those Are Your Options. Remain In a Gutter Surrounded By Acceptance, or Excel Far Beyond and Be Hated By Those Who Decided To Stay. Who Am I To Be Blamed For Someone Else Giving Up On Themselves. Who Are You To Find Purpose In My Successes.




This World Is My Reality and I Am It's Creator.
Until Next Time: www.PoeticDeath.com

This Is a Touchy Topic For Many at The Moment Now That He's Been Pronounced Dead, So I Will Try My Best To Be "Short, Sweet, and To The Point". While It Appears That a Majority of People Are Happy To Hear About The News, Polls Are Showing That Many Are Speculating The Legitimacy of Osama Bin Laden's Death. Some Say It's Been Staged, While Others Say That He's Been Dead.

Instead of Approaching It From a Factual Perspective, I'd Like To Address This Issue From a Philosophical Stand Point...

I'd Like To Start By Addressing The Power of An Idea, and The Results From The Planting of Such a Seed. Throughout History We've Seen The Benefits and The Damages Done On a Daily Basis Based On The Ideas of a Single Person. What Do I Mean By That Exactly? Well, Take Malcolm X For Example and Martin Luther King Jr. Both of These Men Spent Years Fighting For The Rights of "People of Color" and As a Result Planted An Idea That In The End Would Take Root In The Minds of Millions. Now This Idea Became So Powerful, That Even After The MURDER of Both of These Men, Their Movement Still Continued Until The Idea Became a Reality.

Hitler Is Another One. This Was a Man Who Refused To View Human Beings As Equal Simply Based Off The Color of Their Skin, and While We May Think That Such An Idea Is Outrageous In This Day and Age, Ask Yourself How Many "Pro-Nazi" Americans Do We Have In The States. Hitler Has Been Dead For Sixty-Six Years and Yet The IDEA That He Brought Into Perspective Still Lives On To This Day.

So, I'm Stating All of This To Pose a Simple Question. Was Osama Bin Laden The Actual Problem or Do The Ideas That He Stands For and Represent Pose a Bigger Issue? Many Americans Are Rejoicing at The Death of a Man Who's Been Out of The Picture For About Ten Years Now, and Since Then We've Killed Saddam Husein and Are Currently Aiming at Lybia's Leader Gaddafi. In Terms of Casualties Since September 11th, 2001, Well It's Taken Ten Years, Two Wars, Nine-Hundred and Nineteen Thousand Nine-Hundred and Sixty-Seven (919,967) Deaths. As far As Money Goes It's Cost Us $1,188,263,000,000. All For One Person.

Was It Worth It?
And Even More Important, Is It Wise To Consider One To Be Dead While His / Her Ideas Continue to Thrive Beyond The Physical Shell, Within The Physical World?

Again I'll Ask, Should We Really Be Celebrating The Death of a Man While His Ideas Are Still Very Much Alive In The Middle Eastern Countries and In The States? Last I Heard, Al-Qaida Was Global. Just Something To Think About (regardless of if you believe he's just been killed or has been dead for quite some time).

Osama Bin Laden May Be Dead, But It Would Be Very Unwise To Assume That There Isn't Someone(s) Out There Who Isn't Ten Times As Worse and Dedicated To Their Cause. (whatever that may be lol)

Until Next Time....

I've Been Thinking a Lot About The Whole "Foster Kids" Thing and Adoption and All That. I'm In No Position To Take Care of Kid at The Moment of Course, But I Can Help. My Friend Introduced Me To This Shelter Located By My House That Takes Care of Children Who Were Victims of Human Trafficking, and They Need Hands. They Have This Website "childrenofthenight.org" And It's Pretty Legit.

"I'm Only One Person", Something I Tell Myself a Lot. But Then I Think About The Musicians That Have Inspired Me, The People Who've Helped Me Through Life With One Sentence and I Tell Myself "No, I'm More Than That." So Next Week I'm Going To Put In An Application For Weekends. I'm Working So Much During The Week That I Can't Afford To Be at The Shelter As Much As I Want, But It's Killing Me Just Sitting Here. Some Kid Is Going To Commit Suicide By The Time I'm Finished With This Post, and Although I'm Very Aware That That's Just How Life Is, I Feel That I Can Help In Some Way. I Know I Can. Sometimes People Just Need Someone To Listen.

Fuck, I Want To Help So Bad...

On a Side Note, If You Traffic and Happen To Come Across Me In The Real World You Better Fucking Hide Behind God All Fucking Mighty. If I Ever Find You, Man or Women, I Will Shove a Fucking Cattle Prod Up Your Dick-Hole You Fucking Germ.

That Seemed To Be The Focus of Attention Today In The Western World, and Although The Events In Japan Are a Tragedy In and of Themselves, One Can't Help But Ponder On The Thought As To Why Someone Would Think That Prayer Would Help That Country.

Here Me Out.

Within The Last 48hrs, Japan Was Hit With FIVE 6-point-0 Earthquakes Followed By a Tsunami. I Find It Very Hard To Believe That "god" Had Any Care For The Situation, So Why Pray? I Understand That For a Lot of People It's a Form of Comfort, But What's The Point of That Comfort If It's Based off Denial? I Don't Mean To Be "That Guy" or Anything Like That But I Absolutely Hate It When People Resort To Prayer In Times of Disaster. If This "Creator" Is Who You Say He Is, Then I'm Pretty Sure It's Safe To Assume That He Allowed This To Happen.

But Fuck All of That. More Importantly, Why Do People Feel The Need To Show Remorse Over Everyday Issues? People Get Raped, Killed, Thrown In Sex Traffics, ect. There Are Daily Tragedies of The World and Yet Only Once a Story Is Published World Wide Do People Feel The Need To Throw In Their Two Cents On The Matter. That Really Pisses Me Off. Human's - Fucking - Beings. Something Like That...

Moving On.

Many Donation Projects Have Been Launched Under The Vail of An "Effort Relief".
It Amazes Me How We Have So Many Kids In Foster Homes and Homeless People In General, and Somehow For Whatever Reason People Have No Problem Donating Their Money To a Cause To Help Another Country. It Also Bothers Me That So Many Relief Efforts Have Blossomed In 48hrs. Personally I Think It's Bullshit, But That's Just My Personal Opinion.

Once The Water Subsides and The Nuclear Reactors Are Back Online We Can See The Total Damage To That Country...

I'm Happy To Hear About The Large Amount of People Willing Help, But I Am Also Bothered at The Fact That Donations Are Even An Issue. Why Does It Cost Money To Help People. Another Rant For Another Day I Suppose. But Like I Said, Prayer Is The Last Thing Japan Needs Right Now.

I'm Not Quite Sure of The Specific Moment As To When The Event Took Place. However, When Questioned About My Transformation I Find Myself Caught Within The Dialogues of Recollection and Past Tense Memories. Many Enemies Find Favor In My Absence, Having a Tendency of Being "ill-mannered" In The Presence of Irrelevant Slander. To That Degree, I Understand. But There Is Something To Be Said About The Perspective of An Observer. One Could Learn Many Things About a Person If They Took The Time To Study Them.

...Death Is An Interesting Thing To Say The Least.

November 22, 2004:
Henry Stafford, Father of Four, Grandfather To Six Died a Death Classifiable As a Tragedy.
It Was More a Relief, Not Something I Myself Had Mourned Over In The Days Following.

Ah Yes, Before That, Before The Death Had The Transformation Occurred.
You See I Watched That Man's Body Betray The Will of His Very Existence, and In Doing So Came To The Conclusion That Couldn't Be The Shell We Call "Body". I'm Not Sure If It Was The Anger or The Confusion, But What I Do Remember Is Staring at His Dead Body In a Silver Plated Casket. Rest Assured He Was Not There. The Infection That Killed Him Was Still There, The Rigamortis Was Still In Effect As Well. But This Man I Knew For So Many Years, Was Not There.

January 7, 2005
Gurtrude Moore, Mother of One, Mother In Law To a Daughter's Dead Husband, Dies of a Heart Attack. This Event Was Different From The Previous Death, You See She Had Been In a Coma For Two Weeks, Non-Responsive. However, When The "Kids" (Me, My Brother, and Cousin) Got a Chance To See Her By Ourselves We Experienced a Very Different Memory. There Was a Brief Moment Where She Came Out of Her Coma and Grabbed This Wolf's Hand. I Remember Her Eyes Being Wide Open, I Remember My Hand Hurting From Her Grip. She Clearly Did Not Want To Die. I Was Sad To See Her Go, But More Intrigued at The Irony of Her Last Moments. She Spent Her Whole Life Preaching "The Word", What Was She Afraid of. It Had Been Three Months Since The Death of My Grandfather, Maybe In Her State of "Existence" She Sensed The Change In The Energy I Was Projecting. Maybe She Felt The Presence of Something Darker.

I've Pondered On The The Thought of Thought.
Are We Capable of Changing.
I Do Not Think So.

We Are Born With a Blueprint That Will Lay As a Basis For Such Existences.
However, With The Combination of Institutions of All Sorts and Degree, I Believe One Could Fool One's "Self" Into Believing They Are Something They Are Not.

August 13, 1996
I Was Told About The Man Who Walked On Water.

August 13, 1997
I Was Told About The Man Who Walked On Water.

August 13, 1998
I Was Told About The Man Who Walked On Water.

August 13, 1999
I Was Told About The Man Who Walked On Water.

August 13, 2000
I Was Told About The Man Who Walked On Water.

August 13, 2001
I Was Told About The Man Who Walked On Water.

August 13, 2002
I Was Told About The Man Who Walked On Water.

August 13, 2003
I Was Told About The Man Who Walked On Water.

There Comes a Time When One Becomes We and Self Becomes Many.
I Have Years of Happy Memories, But I Can't Seem To Remember To Many of Those Moments.

...Death Is An Interesting Thing To Say The Least.




"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." - Edgar A. Poe

She Had The Honor of Working With a Man Who Will Never Be Written In The Books of "Important" People...

She Clocked Into Work Today and Was Directed To The Back of The Building, The Cable Maker's Workshop. After Making a Right at The Cross Road of The Building She Entered a World Unfamiliar To Herself. A World of Wires. BNCs, XLRs, ACs, Bates, Powerstrips, Fiber, ect. Over 45 Different Types of Cables and Over 10,000 of These Cables Hanging Around The Building. She Thought To Herself "Wow, All These Hand-Made Cables, Must Be a Pretty Solid Team of Guys To Pull All These Off." But As In All Stories That Wasn't The Case.

Within Moments, Out Came This Tiny Man In His Early 40s or Late 30s, Hispanic and Balding, In Good Physical Shape In Terms of Muscles But In Terms of His Posture and Walk She'd Say His Job Gave His Body Quite The Beating. He Was Carrying a Three Thousand Foot Cable Beside Him. "Here's Your Help" Her Boss Said. No Words From The Cable Maker In Response.

She Spent Hours By His Side Learning The Cables and The Techniques of This Craftsman. Studying His Movements. From a Distance It Almost Looked As Though He Was Dancing With The Cables, The Works of a Master Craftsman. In Time, After a Few Days He Became Familiar With Her Presence and Began To Speak To Her More Casually. She Asked Him How Long He'd Been With The Company, He Replied "Twenty-One Years". "Are These All Your Cables?" She Asked. "Yes." He Replied "All Ten Thousand of Them. Hand Made." There Was a Brief Silence In Our Space While They Focused On Untwisting That Three Thousand Foot Cable. After They Finished Untwisting The Cable and The Cable Maker Looked at Her and Said "This Cable Right Here, It Is Fiber You Know? Glass Inside of The Wiring. How much Do You Think It Is Worth?". She Stared at That Cable For About 30 Seconds and Thought To Herself That It's a Fucking Cable, a Long Cable But That's About It. She Said "I Don't Know, $2,000?". He Smiled and Said "$600,000, Just For That." Another Silence Hit The Room. "I Make 10 of Those a Month For This Company. But Not Only For This Company, I Make All The Cables For All Fifteen of Their Locations. I Fix and Repair, Build, Convert, Everything. If There Is a Problem With a Cable They Send It To Me and I Fix It. How Much Do You Think They Pay Me?" He Asked. She Replied "Well, I'm Guessing You Get Commission So I Guess It Depends On The Percentage." He Humbly Laughed and Said He Only Makes About $25 An Hour and That It Takes Him About 20minns To Make That $600,000 Cable. That's When She Noticed That His Smile Was More of a "Mask" If You Will. You Can Disguise The Face But You Can't Disguise The Eyes. So Much Emotion and Pain.

You See This Cable Maker Works 12hrs a Day Minimum and Does This Seven Days a Week.
His Phone Rang, Followed By Some Harsh Words From The Other End of The Phone. Apparently He Was In The Middle of a Divorce and His Wife Figured It'd Be Okay To Bother Him While He's at Work.

This Aging Cable Maker, Broken From His Labors, Still a Part of The Lower-Middle Class After 21 Years Hung Up The Phone and Paused For a Moment. When He Looked Up He Was Smiling Again.

"Come On, We Have a Lot of Work To Do. Lots of Cables, Lots and Lots of Cables..."

So Much Discomfort In His Life and Yet He Still Found Time and Purpose To Assemble a Smile.
She Had The Honor of Working With a Man Who Will Never Be Written In The Books of "Important" People. When He Dies, Only The Dead Will Mourn Him.

Yet Life Goes On and World Will Keep Turning...